Tuesday 20 December 2011

Me and my inner Mr. Hydes

Who would a Diva be without her demons? I guess she wouldn't be much of a Diva...

Not long ago - about a year and a half, if you want a precise timeline - I became suddenly aware of the fact that I was taking up a lot of space in the Universe. Literally.

Seventeen years ago I was so thin that my mom worried I would get into the other extreme. I had a model look, one that I now see taking shape again. It's still a long way from my 14 year-old looks, but at least it is ages away from my 30 year-old looks.

The funny thing about putting weight on, as said by one of my sisters in suffering (diet & EMS / mud wrappings colleague) is that you don't really see it... you just wake up one day that your jeans don't fit, or your favourite tee is tight around the places where it should be loose and so on...

At first, no one tells you anything. Then, when they finally decide to tell you they had to move your little brother to the other side of the table because of your huge butt, it seems to be too late.

It is not too late... It's never too late. It is only too late when your dead body is being placed in the grave that you dug with your own teeth... literally...

Yeah... who would a Diva be without the drama? LOL

This is the darkest of my Mr. Hydes. This is the guy I fight on a daily basis. He's a big jerk, but the thing is, I let him take over sometimes, because it feels so good when someone else makes the decisions. On the short term, he manages to make me happy and I forget about the stress or the worries or the quantity / quality of the work.

I just let him talk me into eating a piece of chocolate... more like an entire chocolate bar... I didn't put up a lot of fighting - I am sleepy, soft, bored and about to make friends with my other Mr. Hyde - lack of self-discipline...

You'd think these guys might be fighting for no 1... But no... they don't! They patiently wait their turn, because when one comes around to manipulate, the other one is right there waiting... "mmmm... you've had chocolate... aren't you just going to take a few minutes and daydream a little? just a little siesta, till the soft, sweet taste of the sugar goes away..."

That's it! I am taking up boxing, bozo! You can't come over and say these things to me!!! And yes, I wish I could sit around all day and eat chocolate and play games, but I have work to do... So, get out of my face and out of my mind, or else I will send you to such dark places in my mind you'll wish you never spoke to me!!! Ever!

Wow! It worked...

I am starting to get to know my inner Hydes. I am finding out their soft spots, and as I talk to them, I realize they think they're somehow protecting me. I am grateful for them, which is why I don't zap them into the outer space, but they have to understand that I am a big girl and I can take care of myself...

My inner Mr. Hyde responsible for the rest and relaxation just told me "Mph!" in a very indignant tone. I feel like a pupil caught cheating. He knows what he's saying and I will keep this little darling.

Do you know your Mr. Hydes? Have you ever talked to them?

Tuesday 13 December 2011

the Diva way...

Hello, world!

I started this journey called life and living, to paraphrase a good and wise friend of mine - a Native woman, with a strong mind, a great determination and a heart of gold, 31 years ago...

I decided to become a diva somewhere around 2007... I was already acting as one - hot one moment, cold the next... Get your mind out of the gutter, people! It is not what you're thinking...

My diva attitude became mostly visible in my work. Its roots - when I get brave enough to go to a doctor (head doctor) - will probably be found in some terrible accident of my childhood, when I didn't get the toy I wanted or something... I don't know... Or maybe someone looked at me funny... No idea!

Anyway... Bygones!

Being a diva, for me, is being different. Acting up, acting out... Making noise! Being charming... Being bitchy... Having that wonderful, nice smile... but also the dagger hidden in your purse... Strange, I never have a purse with me, but I was told my tongue is poisoned...

What else? Going crazy... being loving... always funny... gentle and caring... giving it my very best... crying at silly rom-coms... hating Jennifer Aniston's looks... loving ice cream (especially because it is so bad for me and it won't get me closer to Jennifer Aniston's body - God, I hate that!)... working my butt off... dancing the night away... being passionate about everything - whether it is a project at work or a small fling...

Right now, I feel soft and pleasant... I am willing to just chill. I'd like some ice-cream... Jennifer Aniston's body!!! LOL

The point is... anyone can be a Diva... Being a diva is more like being yourself... that self you do not want  people to see, unless they've signed a prenup and a confidentiality agreement beforehand... That self you sometimes kiss in the morning in the mirror, because you just can't get enough of you! That self that most times stays hidden, because showing her (or him... Who says guys can't be divas? Look at Charlie Sheen!!!) to the world would be like sending a 24 ton of C4 load straight into the White House...

This is about being who you are, at all times. That is the Diva way... Screw the critics - no one has ever built a statue to any of them! Screw the gossip! If anyone talks about how you act, you should be grateful... Think of how empty their lives are, if they have time to dissect yours... Screw the imitators! They'll never be able to fully act like you do... And screw the hypocrites! Who cares what they think, anyway?

Nothing beats being a Diva... except maybe having a little bit of chocolate covered vanilla ice cream...